just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
