I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
