im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
