That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
