My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
