Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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