yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
