Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
