I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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