his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
