How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
