We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize