The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
