I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
no you cant smoke seaweed
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
