You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
