he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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