I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
