If that was your dad, he is hot
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
