"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
