how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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