Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize