I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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