HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
