Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Randomize