is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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