My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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