She's JV to your varsity
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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