The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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