Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
