with your own penis?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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