This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she smelled like a LAN party
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
