walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
