There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize