I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Say something about gay babies.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
