using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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