I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
