Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
