in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
