I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
