I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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