I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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