i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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