I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
