I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
