He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
