a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
