but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
cat food counts as protein by the way
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
