Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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