im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
