Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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