which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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