i would punch a child for taco bell
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
