did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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