if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
