love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize