also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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