If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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