i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
