I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize