Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
