I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
