idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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