i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
