I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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